


Trust

by drakecestanon



Category: Uncharted (Video Games)
Genre: Anal Sex, Brother/Brother Incest, Brothers, Grinding, Healing Sex, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Incest, Kissing, M/M, Orgasm, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape Recovery, Rimming, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 20:30:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13372506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drakecestanon/pseuds/drakecestanon
Summary: Sam was hurt at some point during those long days in that Panamanian prison, so when he and Nathan reunite and resume their relationship, he doesn't want to be on the bottom anymore.  The one time that they try it out, he panics about it, and Nathan lets it go.  Until Sam brings it up that he wants to try it again a month later.Nate/Sam





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InkyJustine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkyJustine/gifts).



> Happy Birthday to my dear friend Nathamuel. ♡ I hope that I did justice to your idea. *kiss emoji* If you couldn't tell, it got a lot longer than I expected it to. Whoops. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I hope you like it. ♡

“Nathan, I’m sorry, I don’t think I can do this,” Sam said regretfully as he tried to scoot away from Nathan’s roving fingers that were currently pressing into his behind.  His heart pounded in his chest as he was suddenly overcome with anxiety, even though what his brother had been attempting to do was something that he and Nathan had done many, _many_ times in the past.  Although that was _before_ he was banished to that hell in Panama, before the pain and humiliation he’d endured while he was there, and before his body had been violated in a way that he _never_ wanted to wish upon even his worst enemies.  Fortunately the incident was _so_ long ago that Sam couldn’t even remember all of the details, but he didn’t _want_ to remember the details and essentially blocked it from his memory.  But that didn’t mean that there weren’t lingering feelings and aftereffects following the traumatic experience.  “Maybe we can try another time?”  He asked with a sheepish smile, trying to hide the hint of fear that lay just below the surface.

 

Nathan sighed as he pulled his hand away.  Not too long ago they were rolling around on their bed, making out and rutting against each other like horny teenagers.  In the heat of the moment, while playfully settling between his brother’s thighs, Nathan had asked Sam if he could take the lead that night.  He was surprised when Sam had agreed.  Ever since they had reunited, Nathan had been the one taking it from his older brother’s cock.  He always enjoyed it of course, but back before Sam’s ‘death’ they had given and received pretty equally.  So when Sam reappeared in his life, Nathan had assumed that they would continue to do as they did when they were younger.  But then he found out that _something_ had happened to Sam in prison, something horrible that his older brother didn’t want to talk much about.  Nathan never pressed the issue, but he could guess pretty well what might have happened to his older brother.  He wasn’t any stranger to prisons and the darkness that they often held, he knew what went on behind those cold, concrete walls.  “Yeah, another time, that’s fine,” Nathan replied with a nod, backing out from between Sam’s legs and moving to sit on the mattress instead, pulling his knees to his chest.  “Do you ah— do you want to talk about it?”  He tried with a tilt of his head.  Even if his efforts to get Sam to be forthcoming about what happened so many years ago weren’t successful, he still had to _try_.  To show his older brother that he was there for him and supported him, and to maybe help Sam get past whatever it was that was troubling him.

 

“Not really,” Sam said flatly as he sat up from his reclined position, crossing his legs in front of him.  He had been rock hard earlier, but after the panic from just getting prepped for sex, his erection now flagged in between his legs.  “You know that I’ve had to work through some _stuff_ ,” he said as he brought one of his legs up so that he could rest an arm on his knee, his eyes darting away from Nathan’s.  There was really _more_ than what Sam had minimally chosen to divulge, a _lot_ more to it, but he didn’t want his brother to be _too_ worried about him.  He could handle himself, considering he’d handled it when it happened, and then through all of those long years thereafter.  Even when his thoughts threatened to cross over into deep, dark places he didn’t want them to go to.  But the light that helped him to pull through was Nathan.  Knowing that his little brother was out there somewhere, exploring and discovering hidden treasures throughout the world, that was enough for him to keep going, to keep hope up that he’d eventually be released and reunited with Nathan. 

 

Nathan nodded.  “Yeah,” he replied softly, internally wishing that Sam would let his wall down and spill his feelings, even if hearing the details would likely hurt and horrify him over what his older brother had to endure.  Nathan would do _anything_ if it meant it would help his brother heal from his wounds, whether they were emotional or physical or both.  But he wouldn’t force it, knowing that Sam was most likely protecting him somehow, just as he always did.  Forcing things out usually only caused his brother to close himself off, and Nathan _definitely_ didn’t want that.  “If you ever need me to help you work through it, you know I’m here,” Nathan offered as he reached a hand out to pet at Sam’s bare leg.  “Or you know, I had actually been going to a therapist for a while, with Elena, before things eventually fell apart.”  He gave an awkward laugh at the admission, his divorce still a somewhat sensitive subject for him, still bearing emotional wounds that hadn’t healed completely yet.  Sam had been helping him out with those, though.  A _lot_.  “I could give you the number of the office if you want.”

 

Sam just snorted at the suggestion, while the hint of a grin briefly crossed his lips.  “Sounds like therapy didn’t work out too well for you guys either,” he said with a shake of his head.  Granted he was part of the reason, maybe _a lot_ of the reason why Nathan’s marriage didn’t pan out, but according to his little brother, they had been pretty off and on as it was, and it was only a matter of time before they were finally off for good.  And he had been there to pick up the pieces when Nathan was falling apart because of it.  So he completely understood that Nathan just wanted to return the favor to him.  “Thanks for the offer little brother, but I think I can work through this myself,” he assured, glancing up towards Nathan and giving him a soft smile.  “I just need to stop feeling so… humiliated about it,” he finally admitted, eyes dropping back down towards the mattress.  Sam didn’t really want to say any more than that, but Nathan was smart, so he was pretty sure that he could pick up what he was putting down.

 

A sadness pierced Nathan’s chest when he heard the words from Sam, and if there was something that he could have done to make his older brother feel better, to make the pain go away from whatever it was that he experienced in that prison, he would have done it in a heartbeat.  “I only want you to feel good,” Nathan said as he gently rubbed at Sam’s knee with his thumb.  “And you know that I wouldn’t do anything to humiliate you.”  He chuckled softly.  “It definitely doesn’t hurt me or humiliate me when you do it to me,” Nathan continued to say, trying his best to reassure Sam with his words, which were the absolute truth.  “Remember when we used to do it before, how it felt?”

 

Sam nodded in response to Nathan’s question.  He _did_ remember, those thoughts were what helped him to get through so many of those lonely, humid Panamanian nights.  But now it was different, the bad memories kept threatening to override the good ones, and he hated it.  “Yeah, of course I remember,” Sam said, a slight hint of melancholy in his voice.  “I could never forget that, Nathan.”  He lifted his face up to meet his brother’s blue eyes.  “It’s just _hard_ now, with everything that’s happened.”

 

Nathan gave a nod as he let his hand slide up to Sam’s forearm, giving his brother a reassuring squeeze.  He understood, even if he didn’t know about everything that had happened to Sam over those thirteen years, and he didn’t want to push his brother into a bad place over it.  So he let it go.  In due time he was sure that they could get back to where they were when they were younger, it just all depended on Sam.  And he was more than willing to wait for his brother.  Sam waited for him in that prison for all of those years after all, so it was the least he could do for him.  “Do you want to go watch TV or something?”  Nathan suggested, figuring that his brother probably wasn’t in the mood to continue where they left off, at least not at that moment.  They could get back to it later if they felt inclined.

 

“Sure,” Sam agreed with a nod, rocking forward so that he could press a soft, gentle kiss to his brother’s lips.  It was a kiss of appreciation, one that showed he was grateful for Nathan’s understanding of the situation.  As he pulled away from his little brother, a timid smile started to spread upon his lips.  “Let me smoke a cigarette first?  I’m kind of jittery right now.”

 

“Yeah, sure,” Nathan replied with a chuckle.  Smoking was still a habit that he frowned upon, but if Sam hadn’t quit by now, it was pretty likely that he probably wouldn’t _ever_ quit.  It was one of those things he tolerated, with his love for Sam winning over the disgust he had for cigarettes.  Nathan got up from the bed, and moved to bend over in order to grab his underwear from the floor.  If they were just going to watch TV, then having at least _some_ clothing on was probably a good idea.

 

Sam lifted an eyebrow as he took in the sight, his groin stirring in slight interest as he watched his little brother retrieve his clothing.  He followed suit though, sliding off of the mattress to standing and crouching down to pick up his discarded boxer shorts.  “I won’t be long, find something interesting for us to watch,” he requested as he tugged his underwear up his legs.  “Or maybe we can even catch a movie, your choice,” Sam offered, in an attempt to make things up to his little brother somehow.

 

“Sure, I’ll check out Netflix while you’re outside,” Nathan agreed as he pulled on his boxer briefs, playfully letting the waistband snap at his middle once he had them on all of the way.  There were some documentaries that he hadn’t gotten around to watching yet, but he wasn’t going to make Sam sit through them.  No, he’d find something more fun and light hearted to watch, something to lift up the mood.  Something to take Sam’s mind off of things.

 

“Sounds good,” Sam said as he picked up his pack of cigarettes and lighter from the bedside table, and then started to move towards the bedroom door.  “See you in a few?”  He asked as he stopped and turned his head to look back at his younger brother.

 

“Sam, I’m not going anywhere,” Nathan replied with a laugh as he motioned with his hand for his brother to keep going.  “Go, enjoy your cigarette,” he insisted before he started to pick up the rest of their clothing that had been strewn across the floor.  “I’ll be downstairs in a minute.”

 

Sam was just about to step through the threshold at his brother’s urging, but something made him stop in his tracks.  “Hey Nathan?  I just wanted to say… thanks.  For everything,” he got out, still feeling like he needed to say _something_ to his younger brother.  Even though Nathan seemed like he totally understood.

 

“Sam, it’s _fine_ ,” Nathan started to say, but then he paused.  “You’re welcome,” he continued on.  “You know I’m always here for you.  It’s always just been the two of us after all, right?”

 

Sam smiled as he glanced down towards the floor, where carpet met hardwood flooring in the doorway.  “Yeah,” he agreed with a nod.  He huffed out a breath.  “Okay, I’ll be back,” Sam said with a wave of his hand as he finally started heading towards the staircase.

 

Nathan just watched as Sam left his sight, and then with arms full of clothing, he opened the closet door in order to toss them into the laundry hamper contained inside.  Once his hands were free, he moved to the dresser and started to dig through one of the drawers, looking for a pair of pajamas.  He figured that they _probably_ weren’t going anywhere else for the night, so he might as well get comfy for what was likely going to be a quiet night in.  And that was okay.  He was still just grateful for any time he got to spend with Sam, after having so many years torn away from them.  Whether it was in the throes of passion, or in the midst of an adventure, or a calm night at home, Nathan was just glad to have Sam by his side.  He smiled to himself as he pulled out a pair of plaid pajama bottoms and a plain green shirt to go along with them.  Nathan never in his wildest dreams imagined that he’d be living in domestic bliss with his older brother, but except for a few minor quirks, he wouldn’t change a thing.


	2. Chapter 2

Nathan grinned at himself in the mirror as he tugged at the cuffs on his shirt, admiring his outfit for the evening.  It wasn’t anything _too_ formal, just a nice button down shirt with a pair of slacks, but he wanted to make the night _special_.  Not for him though, but for Sam.

 

It had been almost a month since they had attempted to reverse their roles in the bedroom, which ended with Sam backing out and nearly getting into a panic because of it, and since then, Nathan hadn’t pushed the issue.  They’d continued to do it as they usually did, with Nathan on the receiving end, and Nathan was fine with it.  As long as Sam was okay, he was okay.  Even if he did sometimes long for the days before Sam’s ‘death,’ when they both shared giving and receiving.  But he didn’t want to force it.  He figured that in due time, whenever Sam was ready, he’d come to him about it.  And Nathan was glad to discover that he was absolutely right about that.

 

Sam had eventually revealed to Nathan that even though he didn’t take up the offer of a therapist, he’d been reading some books, looking up some stuff on the internet, and even going as far as joining an anonymous online community to help him deal with his issues and past traumas as far his time in prison went.  He felt good enough to try it out again, and asked Nathan if he’d be willing to give it another shot.  Nathan of course was elated about it, and agreed _instantly_ , but instead of dragging Sam straight to the bedroom, he thought it would be nice if they made a _night_ of it.  While wearing nice clothes, having a nice dinner, and taking Sam on a proper date beforehand.  Sam of course didn’t want to make a big deal out of things, but he eventually agreed to the date when Nathan gave him those puppy dog eyes of his, the ones he used whenever he wanted something.  It was Nathan’s secret weapon and it worked _every single time_.  Sam really could _never_ say no to his little brother after all.

 

“You almost ready Sam?”  Nathan called from the bathroom, glancing out through the door towards the bedroom to see his brother fussing with his belt.  He was already ready to go, although with a quick glance at his watch, he saw that they still had forty five minutes remaining before they were due to be at the restaurant for their reservation.  Which was plenty of time for them catch a ride over there.

 

“Yeah, I think so,” Sam replied as he tugged at the end of his belt once more before sliding it into the belt loop.  “You know, we don’t _have_ to go to some fancy place, Nathan,” he said with a slight chuckle.  Even though what he was wearing wasn’t anywhere near as elegant as say, a tuxedo was, it still wasn’t exactly comfortable.  “Can’t we just go to one of those nicer chain restaurants?  One where I can wear my jeans and we won’t get kicked out because of it?”

 

Nathan laughed as he stepped out from their bathroom.  “We can go to one of those any day,” he said while moving towards where Sam was standing and then snaked an arm around his waist.  “Plus you _know_ I want tonight to be special for you… for the both of us.”  He smiled as he leaned in closer to Sam’s face, nudging his nose against his brother’s cheek while he let his hand drop lower, lightly brushing his palm over the curve of his brother’s ass.  “You look good you know,” Nathan complimented in a murmur, before pressing a kiss to Sam’s jaw, finding it uncharacteristically smooth since he insisted that his brother shave that night.

 

“You stole _my_ line,” Sam joked, his cheeks lightly reddening at the attention that his little brother was giving him.  Normally _he_ was the one who was supposed to be suave and charming, but he guessed he could give up that role for the evening.  _Just_ for that evening, anyway.  He really wasn’t used to the attention being on him, at least in _that_ way.  But it seemed like Nathan was no stranger to being charming himself.  Perhaps that trait ran in the family too.  “We ready to roll then?”

 

“Yep, just got to grab the keys and put on my shoes and then we can get out of here,” Nathan said as he let go of Sam so that he could step towards the dresser instead.  Once his keys and wallet were safely in his pocket, he made to move towards the bedroom door.  “Let’s go,” Nathan said with a tilt of his head and a smile on his lips.  Their shoes were in the foyer closet downstairs, so once they put those on, they could head out for real and start what was hopefully a _memorable_ evening.

 

“Okay, okay, I’m coming,” Sam said with a little laugh, giving a brief tug at the waistband of his slacks before following his brother out into the hallway towards the stairs.  “This restaurant better be worth all of _this_ ,” Sam teased as he trailed behind Nathan while they descended the staircase.  “Other than when we were back in Italy, you know I don’t exactly _like_ getting all dressed up.”

 

Nathan just laughed.  If Sam could wear a suit made out of denim, he probably _would_.  He shuddered briefly at the thought.  “Trust me Sam, when you taste the steak, you’ll be crying tears of _joy_ at how good it tastes,” he promised, stopping at the bottom of the stairs to turn and grin at his older brother while dragging his index fingers down his cheeks to mimic someone crying.  “Tears of _joy_.”

 

“Does that mean I should go back upstairs and grab a handkerchief then?”  Sam said jokingly with a flick of a thumb back towards the staircase.  “Since this is going to be a _legendary_ meal we’re going to be having?”  A smirk quirked at his lips as the question left his mouth.  With the way that Nathan was talking up the place, it sounded like the food was practically to _die_ for.

 

“Only the best for a couple of legends,” Nathan quipped back.  He glanced down at his wristwatch.  “But if we want to make our reservation, we should probably leave now.”

 

After a few more moments of fussing with shoes and coats, Nathan and Sam were out the door and on their way, ready to enjoy their evening together.  With Nathan hoping silently that the night would go off without a hitch as he locked the front door behind them.

 

* * *

 

Sam soon discovered that Nathan wasn’t lying about the food.  Maybe he didn’t exactly _tear up_ at the flavor of the steak that he had ordered, but it was probably the best steak he’d ever had in his life.  Not that he’d had that many steaks in his lifetime to compare it to, but it topped the list, as small as that list was.  They ended up sharing a bottle of wine over dinner, Nathan insisting that wine went better with the meal than beer would.  And even though Sam begged to differ on that, much preferring a bottle of beer instead, he went along with his little brother’s wishes.  So they sipped at their wine glasses through each of the courses, until they were pleasantly buzzed by the time the bottle was completely empty and the dessert plates were cleared from the table.  Which was their cue to head back home, as pleasant as their date had been. 

 

There had been good conversation, there had been joking, there had been touches, and there had been a playful argument over who was going to pay for the check.  Overall, it had been a _good_ night, and pretty much par for the course for the Drake brothers.  When they weren’t getting chased by psychos over pirate treasure, that was.  But Sam was quite sure that Nathan didn’t intend for the night to end once dinner was over.  And he couldn’t help but feel a little bit anxious about what was _likely_ going to come next, despite the alcohol coursing through his bloodstream that should have in theory, calmed him down.  ‘Wine, dine and sixty-nine’ wasn’t _just_ a saying after all.  But it was Nathan.  And he trusted Nathan.  With _everything._   That thought alone was thankfully enough to get his nerves to mellow out, without even needing a hit of nicotine to help things along.  Although once he thought about it, a cigarette after dinner _did_ sound pretty good.

 

They lingered at the table for a little while longer, enjoying each other’s company, until finally Nathan paid the bill.  Seeing as they had no reason to hang around once the transaction was done, they eventually got up from the table to head back home.  But not without Sam taking a break for an after dinner cigarette as soon as they got outside the restaurant.  Once the last puff was inhaled and the cigarette butt was crushed underneath the sole of Sam’s shoe, they hailed a cab for the ride home.

 

Once at their doorstep, Nathan fumbled with his keys a bit, somehow finding it a challenge to slide the house key into the lock at first.  He felt a little tipsy from the wine but he didn’t think that he was _that_ tipsy.  Part of it might have been nerves too, his hands unsteady due to the anticipation of what was to come.  Nathan shouldn’t have felt nervous about it at all, considering in the past he’d had Sam many, _many_ times, but it was different now.  With Sam’s past trauma to contend with, _whatever_ it was, Nathan knew that he had to be careful with his older brother.  He didn’t want to set him off, to push him back into that dark place he’d been trapped in the past, and that in itself was daunting.  Eventually he managed to open the deadbolt with a click, and he chuckled as he turned the doorknob.  “Got it,” Nathan said a little sheepishly as he opened the door, stepping aside and indicating for Sam to enter first with a motion of his hand.

 

“I was going to ask if you needed any help with that,” Sam said with a laugh as he stepped past Nathan to enter their house, immediately kicking off his shoes once he was in the foyer.  “But it looks like you’ve got it.”  He gave a stretch and moved to scratch at one of his sides.  “Now to go get comfortable,” Sam commented, moving towards the staircase.  The alcohol had made him a little bit drowsy, although he wasn’t ready to go to sleep just yet.  But he definitely wanted to get out of his not-so-comfortable semi-formal clothing and into some pajamas.

 

“Hold on,” Nathan said as he shut the door behind him, turning the lock before reaching a hand out to grab at his older brother’s sleeve.  “Did uh… did you have a good time?”  Nathan asked a bit awkwardly, gently tugging at his brother’s arm in order to keep Sam from getting away from him, the gesture reminding him of times when they were both _much_ younger.

 

Sam stopped in his tracks once he felt Nathan pulling at his arm, and he chuckled at the question as he turned to face his little brother.  “Of course I did,” Sam replied with a nod and a smile.  “I always have a good time when I’m with you, Nathan.”  It was the honest truth.  As long as he had his brother by his side, whether they were at a dinner table or trapped in a jail cell, the two of them together could make the best of _any_ situation.  And enjoy it to boot.  “And the food _was_ pretty damn good too,” he complimented, while slipping an arm around Nathan to pull him into a hug.  “Looks like you _were_ right about that after all.”

 

“See, I _can_ be right about things sometimes,” Nathan joked, a grin crossing his lips while letting his arms slide behind his older brother’s back as Sam pulled him into a loose embrace.  Nathan glanced up to meet Sam’s warm, hazel eyes, and as they stood there chest to chest in the entryway, he impulsively closed the distance between them and captured Sam’s lips in a kiss.  As far as he was concerned, their date wasn’t over _yet._   If anything, he hoped that the best was yet to come.

 

An amused chuckle erupted from Sam’s throat when Nathan’s lips connected with his, but the sound was easily swallowed by his brother’s mouth, and ended up coming out as a soft moan instead.  Going out for a nice dinner date, and then having an after dinner kiss was practically the definition of cliché, but hell, he was okay with clichés.  Especially when it came to his little brother, Sam would really do _anything_ for him, no matter how cliché it might be.  He was pretty sure what the kiss would eventually lead up to, and fortunately, he wasn’t feeling anxious about it.  At least not _too_ anxious.  Maybe all of the wine at dinner had lowered his inhibitions, but whatever it was, he was going to roll with it.  So while lifting a hand up to cup Nathan’s jaw, Sam returned the kiss, letting his lips melt against his brother’s.

 

Nathan hummed when he felt Sam’s lips meld with his own, and it only spurred him on to continue kissing his brother with more passion and enthusiasm.  When he had the chance to, Nathan deepened the kiss between them, sliding his tongue into Sam’s warm mouth while moving a hand up to the back of his brother’s neck so that he could tug at the longer, dark hairs there, keeping Sam from getting away.  Not that it seemed like his brother was _going_ anywhere, anyway.  His heart fluttered though, when Sam returned the kisses, tangling his tongue together with his own.  Nathan could vaguely taste wine and nicotine on Sam’s lips as they kissed, but the overwhelming flavor flooding his taste buds was _Sam_ , and that was enough for him to start getting hot under the collar.  With their mouths still connected, Nathan nudged a knee in between his older brother’s legs and made an attempt to walk Sam back towards the foyer wall.

 

Sam was amused when Nathan unceremoniously used his hips to get him to move backwards, and he drew back from the kiss with a breathy chuckle.  “What, so we’re just going to rut against each other here in the entryway like a couple of horny teens?”  He joked as he followed his little brother’s direction, taking steps backwards until his back hit the wall.  Sam could feel himself starting to get heated up, even despite the tiny little nagging thought in the back of his mind that warned him against what he was pretty sure that Nathan had planned.  Somehow though, he managed to get the little voice inside of him to shut up, especially when Nathan’s groin ground up against his own.

 

“That sounds _great_ to me,” Nathan replied as he closed in on his big brother, nosing at Sam’s throat before nipping at the tattooed skin while he let his hands drop to the front of his brother’s shirt.  He fumbled with the buttons as he mouthed at Sam’s inked birds, his lack of coordination probably due to the effects of the alcohol at dinner, but soon he had them unfastened just enough so that he could slide a hand inside and smooth his palm over his brother’s chest.

 

The air conditioned air hit Sam’s exposed skin, causing him to shiver a bit under Nathan’s touches.  But when his brother’s fingers dragged over his nipple, another slight shudder ran through him, and this time it _wasn’t_ because he was cold.  He tilted his head back into the wall and gave a sigh as Nathan’s mouth was still busy with his neck, which had _always_ been a sensitive area for him.  And Nathan knew it too, especially with the way he was nipping and licking at his skin.  It didn’t take too much of that before Sam could feel the front of his pants starting to get a little tight.  “You _sure_ you don’t want to go upstairs?”  Sam suggested with a hoarse chuckle, rolling himself slowly and deliberately against his little brother to let Nathan feel what his kisses and touches had been doing for him.

 

A chuckle dropped from Nathan’s lips as he felt what was _definitely_ his brother’s erection pressing against his thigh.  He was already hard too, but it always made him _more_ excited knowing that he’d gotten Sam revved up as well.  And this time was no different.  “Okay, yeah, let’s go,” Nathan agreed as he moved away from Sam just enough to give him room to walk.  “I’m going to make you feel _really_ good once we get up there too,” Nathan promised, giving Sam a grin before grabbing at his hand and tugging him towards the staircase.

 

Sam just laughed as he allowed himself to be dragged over to the stairs by Nathan, not that he had been resisting anyway.  “That better be a promise,” he joked as he followed his brother up the staircase, his hand still being held tight by Nathan.  He could feel that anxiety starting to creep up again as they got closer to the bedroom, to which he took in a breath in order to dispel it.  Sam knew that Nathan would never hurt him, at least not on purpose.

 

Once up the stairs and through the bedroom door, Nathan pulled Sam towards the bed, walking backwards until the mattress hit the back of his calves.  He grinned as he let himself fall back upon it, and tugged his brother towards him.  “Well, what are you waiting for?”  Nathan teased, glancing up at Sam’s face with mischievous blue eyes.

 

Sam wasted no time in following Nathan’s suggestion, knees pressing into the mattress in between his brother’s legs, causing the bed to dip with their weight.  He immediately found Nathan’s lips with his own, and with his free hand he slid his fingers into his brother’s short, brown locks of hair.  As Sam eagerly kissed his little brother, he ground down against him, making sure that Nathan didn’t forget what he had in store for him.

 

Nathan moaned into Sam’s mouth when he could feel his hardon pressing against him once again through their clothing.  It was _tempting_ to just let Sam have his way with him, because his big brother was _so_ good at it, but he had made a promise to Sam and to himself that he was going to make the night special for the both of them.  Nathan let go of Sam’s hand instead, and moved his hands down to start working on getting his brother’s slacks undone.  For what he wanted to do, they needed to get their clothes off first.

 

“Good idea,” Sam murmured against Nathan’s lips as he followed suit, dropping his hands to his brother’s chest so that he could unfasten the buttons there.  Once he had worked his way down Nathan’s torso and had his shirt wide open, he then moved lower to the fly of his brother’s pants.  It didn’t take long before he had that open as well, and started shoving the cloth down Nathan’s thighs, underwear and all.

 

Nathan chuckled as Sam wasted no time in getting him undressed, and at his brother’s urging, he lifted his hips up so that Sam could get his pants over the swell of his ass.  Just as Sam worked on his clothing, Nathan worked on Sam’s, and with mouths still loosely connected, he tugged his brother’s pants and boxer shorts down his legs as far as he could reach.  Once he couldn’t get any further, he then worked on his own, wriggling them off of his legs and feet and kicking them off of the side of the bed, leaving him in just his open dress shirt on the bed.

 

“Let me help you with that,” Sam said with a hum as he broke the kiss and finished the job that Nathan had started, using his hands to reach down and pull his pants and underwear off, one leg at a time.  As he moved to pull his shirt off as well, his erection jutted out proudly from in between his legs, just begging to be touched.

 

Nathan couldn’t help but stare at his brother hovering over him, eyeing his hard cock, and once again that temptation of just letting Sam have him washed over him.  With the position they were in, it would have been just so _easy_ to let Sam slide into him right then and there.  But he resisted, and instead reached up to slide his arms behind his big brother’s back while he pulled him back down into a warm, wet kiss.  When their cocks slid against one another with the motion, a groan escaped Nathan’s throat.  But that didn’t stop him from tugging at Sam in order to roll him over on the bed.

 

Sam could only be amused when at one moment he had Nathan pinned to the mattress and then in the heat of the moment while they were kissing, he was rolling over to where Nathan had him held down instead.  “Well, this is a change of scenery, isn’t it?”  Sam quipped with a chuckle after pulling away from the kiss between them.  With the change of positioning, that anxious flutter picked up again in his chest, but it was easily quelled when he craned his neck in order to press another kiss to his little brother’s lips.

 

“I told you, I wanted to make tonight _special_ for you,” Nathan replied after returning Sam’s kiss, shrugging out of his shirt and letting it fall onto the side of the bed.  “And that’s what I intend to do,” he promised, sitting back and moving his hands to Sam’s inner thighs, gently nudging them open with a press of his fingertips.

 

Sam allowed Nathan to spread his legs wider, and he watched raptly as his little brother knelt down in between them.  He held his breath as Nathan sunk down lower, expecting him to go for his cock first, considering blow jobs between them usually counted as foreplay.  But when Nathan bypassed his erection and crept down even lower, Sam then realized _exactly_ what he was planning to do.  His guess was well confirmed when he felt the flick of a wet tongue against the ridge of his asshole.  A sensation that he hadn’t felt in a long, _long_ time.  “N-Nathan,” he got out, shooting a hand down to grasp at his little brother’s hair.  Sam was beginning to feel slightly anxious again, but he wasn’t panicked just yet.

 

“Relax,” Nathan murmured, moving a hand up to stroke at Sam’s thigh, pressing gentle circles into it with the pad of his thumb.  “Breathe if you need to,” he reminded before getting back to what he was doing, carefully licking at the ridged skin with the flat of his tongue.

 

Sam took Nathan’s advice and breathed in a deep breath through his nose before letting himself exhale between his teeth.  After a few more breaths, the feeling of anxiety had waned somewhat, and he was able to concentrate more on what Nathan was doing for him.  It had been a _while_ since Nathan had been down there with his mouth, well before the whole prison stint in fact, and Sam had forgotten how pleasurable his brother’s tongue could feel down there.  Especially when Nathan’s tongue breached him and gently licked at his insides.  _That_ caused a gasp of breath to leave his lips.

 

Considering that Sam hadn’t leapt up or tried to scoot away from him, Nathan figured that what he was doing must have been working, and hearing a huffed exhale from his older brother only confirmed it.  He hummed as he worked his tongue against Sam, alternating between licking over the outside of his brother’s opening and dipping his tongue inside to press hotly and deeply within.

 

The vibrations coming from Nathan’s mouth only sent arousal pooling into Sam’s core as his brother delved his tongue inside of him, carefully exploring his depths.  He focused on how _good_ it made him feel, how good _Nathan_ made him feel, his fingers scratching at his little brother’s scalp in encouragement.  Whatever tension that he had been holding onto gently melted away with each lick of Nathan’s tongue, and he even allowed himself to let out a moan that he had been suppressing, when his brother dared to poke his tongue in even further.

 

When Nathan heard Sam actually _moan_ as he worked his tongue on his insides, his cock throbbed hard in between his legs.  He couldn’t help himself from grinning against Sam’s rim, mentally patting himself on the back that what he’d been doing was a good idea after all.  Nathan could tell that Sam was gradually relaxing and letting himself enjoy what he was doing, despite whatever horrors he had lived through in Panama.  And he couldn’t be more pleased.  So he kept up the motions of his tongue for as long as he could, until the slick muscle began to get tired and sore, and finally after a while, Nathan pulled away with a drag of the back of his palm against his mouth.  “That was okay, right?”  He asked as he gave a lick of his lips, his mouth feeling a little cottony after working his tongue for so long.

 

Sam groaned in protest when Nathan pulled off of him, having gotten _well_ used to having his brother’s mouth and tongue down there, and still wanting more.  “Yeah, that was _more_ than okay,” Sam got out roughly, moving a hand down to give a pull of his hard length.  By this point he was completely slick with precome, which helped to aid his hand’s movement.  He didn’t even know how long Nathan had been down there, Sam had lost track of time at some point, totally focused on what his brother was doing to him.  And now he just felt somewhat wet and empty.

 

Nathan just grinned at Sam’s admission, tempted to give his older brother a kiss because of it, but considering where his mouth had just been, he restrained himself.  “So, I can keep going, right?”  Nathan asked, not specifying quite what he meant, but he was pretty sure that Sam knew _exactly_ what he was talking about.  “So that I can make you feel good?”

 

Sam involuntarily held his breath at the question.  So far things had been good, _great_ even, and the way that Nathan worked his mouth and tongue on him kept his cock hard and plump between his legs.  But he knew that he wouldn’t be able to get past the stuff he needed to work out if he didn’t take the steps necessary to do so.  “Yeah, of course,” Sam answered breathlessly, his voice hitching slightly at the words, but once again, he _trusted_ Nathan.  To the ends of the earth and beyond.  “Let’s get the slick, huh?”

 

Nathan didn’t need to be told twice, scrambling to get up from in between Sam’s legs so that he could hop over towards the nightstand, where they usually kept the lube along with a few other _toys_.  But Nathan’s only concern was the tube within the drawer, which he retrieved quickly before hastily shutting it and bounding back towards the bed.  Once he was settled in between Sam’s thighs again, he popped the tube open and poured some of the clear gel out onto his fingers.  “You just tell me if you need me to stop,” Nathan said seriously as he rubbed his fingertips together.  Of course he didn’t want to _have_ to stop, but he loved his big brother and if it was too much for him, he’d respect his wishes.  He just _hoped_ that it wasn’t going to be too much for Sam.  Carefully, he slid his hand in between Sam’s legs, gliding it underneath his sack, and found his entrance with his fingertips.  Nathan traced a finger over the rippled skin before sliding it inside, almost _shocked_ at how easily it went in.  All of that work with his tongue beforehand must have really loosened his brother up.  Both figuratively and literally.

 

A gasp fell from Sam’s lips when Nathan pressed a slick finger inside of him, but somehow, he didn’t start to feel panicky with the penetration.  He was okay with it.  _More_ than okay with it.  Still relaxed and aroused from the tongue job that Nathan had given him, along with the remnants of the alcohol buzz from earlier, he actually found himself _wanting_ more.  As opposed to a month earlier when he was squirming to get away from the sensation.  “Gimme another one Nathan,” Sam demanded.  “It’s okay, I’m fine.”

 

Nathan’s heart practically soared at the request, and he could feel his own pulse starting to rise since it seemed like what he had been wanting and desiring for _so_ long actually looked like it was going to happen for _real._   “Yeah, of course,” Nathan replied, trying hard to mask his excitement but he couldn’t stop grinning as he gave Sam what he wanted, nudging in another finger next to the first one.  It didn’t slide in quite as easily as the first one did, but with a few movements of his fingertips to loosen Sam up even more, it soon sunk in just as deep as the first one had.  “Still good?”

 

This time Sam’s eyebrows furrowed at the intrusion of two digits, but the movement inside of him didn’t feel _bad_.  It actually threatened to feel good, with the way Nathan’s fingertips managed to brush over that sweet spot inside of him.  “Yeah, I’m good,” Sam got out truthfully with a nod.  “More than good.  Keep going.”

 

Nathan didn’t hesitate in pressing a third finger inside, taking his time to make sure that he wasn’t hurting Sam in any way as he did it, and he carefully stretched and curled them inside his brother, making sure that Sam was going to be absolutely ready for what was to come next.  “You just tell me when you’re ready for me,” Nathan assured as he flexed his fingertips within his brother’s depths, his other hand resting on Sam’s thigh to rub at it with assurance.

 

The stretch with the addition of the third finger almost made Sam’s mind go to bad places, _almost._   But with the way that Nathan was carefully working him open, being so gentle and cautious with him, it brought back all of the good memories they’d had _before_ Panama.  When they used to easily switch it up between them, and even sometimes make a game or a competition out of it.  He smiled at the recollection.  It was different with Nathan, _much_ different.  “I’m ready,” Sam announced, a hint of confidence layering over his voice.  “Go ahead, Nathan.”

 

At Sam’s words, Nathan became practically _giddy_ with anticipation.  “Okay,” he said as a wide grin threatened to split his face, carefully tugging his fingers free from his older brother.  As soon as he had poured some more lubricant out into his palm, he smeared it over his prick, and Nathan wasted no time in settling himself in between Sam’s legs.  He pressed the head of his cock against Sam’s entrance, and paused to meet his older brother’s eyes.  Giving Sam a look and using his eyes as if to tell his brother not to worry, Nathan rolled forward, gasping when Sam’s body began to take him in.

 

The stretch and pressure of taking a cock was much greater than Sam could ever remember, and a groan rumbled from his throat as Nathan sank into him.  It had been a long, _long_ time for him after all.  One of his hands clutched at the bedsheets, cloth curled into his fingers, but he was still all right.  Sam didn’t feel panicky, and even though there was still a lingering flutter in his chest, it didn’t threaten to take him over either.  He inhaled a deep breath, almost choking on it in the exhale when the head of Nathan’s length brushed over his prostate, sending a spark through him.

 

“Are you all right?”  Nathan asked with concern, pausing in his movements when Sam suddenly sputtered out something unintelligible as he sank deeper inside his big brother.  It had been so _long_ since Nathan had felt Sam’s tight heat surrounding him, that he _really_ didn’t want to stop now.  Especially since he wasn’t in all the way just _yet._   The sensation was downright amazing, and it jogged his own memories of the past, before Sam was stuck in Panama for so many years.  He’d really nearly forgotten how it felt, and in his mind, that was practically a crime in itself.

 

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” Sam got out with a tight laugh, moving a hand up to pat at Nathan’s side assuredly.  “That just… it felt good,” he admitted almost shyly, his cheeks reddening with heat.  “I forgot it can feel like that.  So keep going.”

 

Nathan nodded excitedly as he continued to slowly roll forward, until he finally filled Sam to the hilt.  A groan left his throat as he just _savored_ the sensation of being in his older brother, the tight squeeze he felt as Sam clenched around his cock being something that he sorely missed.  “I told you I was going to make you feel good,” Nathan said as he experimentally pulled back slowly, only to roll forward gently and push himself back into Sam’s warm depths.

 

“ _Nathan_ ,” Sam breathed as his brother pushed in all the way.  He wrinkled his eyebrows into a furrow when Nathan began to move, the motion bringing up mixed feelings inside of him once again.  But when the crown of his brother’s cock nudged at that sweet spot inside of him, he couldn’t hold back the moan that rumbled from his chest, any negative feelings he was threatening to have quickly being swept away.  It seemed like Nathan was going to hold to his promise after all, not that Sam had doubted it in the first place.  His issues were something that _he_ needed to work through, and not the fault of his little brother at all.  “Keep doing that,” Sam encouraged in a low voice, reaching up to grasp at Nathan’s arm.  “You can go a little harder too, you know.  I’m not gonna break.”

 

Nathan’s eyebrow lifted at Sam’s words, a little surprised that he was eager for more, but he wasn’t going to deny his brother’s request, that was for sure.  He took his time at first though, wanting to savor and enjoy the moment between them, especially after _so_ long.  Nathan thrust slowly into Sam for a little bit, enjoying the way his brother squeezed around his cock and the way their bodies seemed to fit so perfectly together.  If he had been younger, that probably would have been enough alone to get him off.  Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, depending on how fast he wanted to come, that wasn’t the case now.  After a few moments of slow and leisurely rocks of his hips, Nathan dropped a hand to push one of Sam’s bent knees back towards his chest, opening his brother wider and quickly finding that he could sink in even deeper that way.  “Oh god, Sam,” Nathan gasped out as he picked up the pace, holding his brother’s leg in place and watching raptly as he drew in and out of Sam’s hole.

 

A whine keened from Sam when Nathan started to move a little faster and a little harder, but it was a _good_ kind of whine, one that signaled that he liked what his brother was doing.  A lot.  He followed Nathan’s lead and pulled his other leg in, holding it to his chest to allow his brother more room in between his thighs.  And boy, did that slight shift in position do wonders, not only allowing his brother to submerge himself deeper, but also giving Nathan the perfect angle in which to hit his prostate directly with each and every thrust.  “Yeah, just like _that_ Nathan,” he got out in encouragement, his voice edged with roughness and arousal. 

 

Spurred on by the fact that Sam was feeling _good_ with what he was doing, Nathan started to push harder and faster, driving his brother down into the mattress with each thrust.  He made sure to keep Sam’s leg in place as he pounded into him, pants starting to fall from his lips with the physical exertion.  Arousal pooled hotly in his belly as he did to Sam what he wanted to do for the _longest_ time, but he tried to stave it off, focusing on his brother and his pleasure first.

 

“Nathan, _Nathan_ ,” Sam groaned helplessly as his little brother fucked him _hard_ , his body and the bed shaking with each harsh thrust.  He couldn’t blame Nathan though, after going so long without swapping positions, especially when he had been so used to switching in the past.  But also, he had asked for it too, and Nathan didn’t _not_ deliver on a promise, that was for sure.  His cock lay plump and thick on his belly and leaking a trail of precome, but he didn’t even feel the need to touch it with the way Nathan nailed his sweet spot _every single time._   It was hard for him to believe that he had actually _forgotten_ how good Nathan was at taking the reins.  His torso coiled tight like a spring, and it only took a few deeper, hard thrusts before he came undone, gasping and moaning as he shot his orgasm over the expanse of his stomach.

 

Nathan almost couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw and _felt_ Sam come, the tight squeeze around his cock just about too much for him to bear.  He kept moving through his brother’s orgasm though, having been skating on the edge of his own release, and with a few shallower, quicker thrusts, Nathan hit his climax as well, spilling deep into Sam’s insides with a broken groan.  Once he was spent, he unceremoniously collapsed onto his brother, panting against the skin of Sam’s throat, not caring about the sticky mess smearing onto his stomach.  He was already sweaty and probably needed to take a shower anyway, never mind needing to brush his teeth considering where his mouth had been, so a little come on his tummy wasn’t a big deal to him. 

 

Sam chuckled roughly when Nathan dropped onto him, and he lifted a hand to drag his fingers through his brother’s hair, finding it damp with sweat.  “Yeah, it was good for me too,” Sam quipped as he closed his eyes, basking in the afterglow of orgasm.  Sex with Nathan was _always_ great, but the best part of it was that he didn’t panic, his mind didn’t go to those dark corners, and he was just able to enjoy the moment between him and his brother.  Just as it was before the incident in Panama.  The way that it _should_ be.  Feeling affectionate, Sam moved to press a kiss to Nathan’s lips, but was denied when his brother’s hand came up in between them.

 

“You’d better not, you know where my mouth’s been.” Nathan remarked with breathless amusement, tapping a finger to his cheek instead.  He felt limp and boneless, but sated, and most of all, full of love for his brother and pleased that he was able to help Sam get past whatever demons he was fighting inside of him.  Nathan knew that there was no way that they were gone for good, but it was a solid start on the path to eradicating them. 

 

Sam just laughed as he followed directions and pressed a kiss to Nathan’s cheek instead while draping an arm behind his brother’s sweaty back.  “I guess I’ll take a rain check on that then.”

 

Nathan chuckled against Sam’s throat, and in his relaxed state, a thought jumped to the front of his mind.  “So, do you think you’ll ever talk about what happened in Panama?”  Nathan asked curiously.  Sam had only given him certain details about some of the events that occurred in the prison, and he’d heard about some of the people he had met while locked up, but he never talked about more than that.  When he was first met with silence from the question, Nathan was afraid that maybe he’d crossed the line with his curiosity.  “I mean, when I went to therapy they stressed how talking about experiences often help us get past them,” he explained hurriedly, not wanting to possibly upset his older brother.

 

Sam’s first thought when Nathan asked the question was to shut it down with a refusal.  But after what he had learned from what he’d read online, he knew that his little brother was right.  “Yeah, I can tell you about it, although it’s not pleasant,” he warned, pulling Nathan in closer to him in a protective gesture.  “But not tonight.  I just want to take a shower and go to sleep.”

 

Nathan gave a little nod of acknowledgement.  Even if Sam didn’t explain to him tomorrow or even the next day, he had faith that it would come out at some point.  For the most part, Sam kept his promises, especially about important things.  At the mention of sleep though, Nathan couldn’t help but stifle a yawn.  His orgasm had taken a lot out of him.  “That sounds like a plan,” he said with a sleepy smile, moving to get up from Sam even though he didn’t really _want_ to.  He enjoyed the comfort of being in Sam’s arms, and nuzzling up against him.  But the gross tackiness of the mess on his stomach won out.  “Wanna take a shower together?”

 

Sam first winced at the sticky mess he felt leaking out of him when Nathan moved, yet something _else_ that he’d have to get used to feeling again.  But as far as he was concerned, it was _well_ worth it.  “You betcha,” he answered with a grin, as he slid over to the edge of the mattress to get his feet on the floor.  “As long as you promise that we can do _this_ again.”

 

“Of course we can,” Nathan replied with amusement, stopping in the doorway of the bathroom to turn towards Sam, his face absolutely lighting up when he heard the words. It seemed like things were back to normal.  _Their_ normal.  “Any time you want.  You just give me the word.”

 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Sam said with a laugh, stepping in close enough to his little brother so that he could lean in and press another affectionate kiss to his cheek.  “Now, how about that shower?  I think I’m dripping onto the floor.”

 

Nathan just laughed as he hurried his way over to the shower so that he could turn it on.


End file.
